Okay everyone, listen up: I don't know how SHE found this blog, but we are in GRAVE danger. We are now officially initiating Code Magenta, which calls for.... PLAN X. Everybody remember the code? Here we go...
HolyPOOP cowPOOP youPOOP guysPOOP! IPOOP reallyPOOP hopePOOP wePOOP don'tPOOP havePOOP herPOOP againPOOP thisPOOP timePOOP!
mwahahahaha... she'll never decode THAT fanciful cipher!
-hpooterfan, and so on...
2 hours later:
Greetings, minions. It is I, His Royal Feces. I have heard about the infiltration of your secret blog and decided to provide assistance to my faithful followers. This "Suzie" woman has been infestified. And yes, that is a word. Don't contradict me. Anypoo, she should be experiencing some nasty symptoms for the next month or so, and may need to call a plumber. Or fifty nine.
I would also like to let you know that I have struck! Again! This time, I decided to disguise myself as... should I tell you? I suppose. My consumer believed me to be an innocent blob of Nutella with equally innocent banana slices... (well, those actually WERE innocent, but... moving on...) The Ziploc full of "Nutella" (notice quotes) just adds to the whole effect. I believe the innocent bystanders thought it was just their crazy daughter trying to squirt Nutella on her bananas like icing. They were WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONGITY! WRONG!
THE WORLD IS MIIIIIIIIINE!
Wait. What? No, I didn't say anything about taking over the world. You humans have terrible vision. Jeesh. Get some glasses, people...
Until next time: May the poop be with you.
And I solemnly swear I'm NOT your father.