An offshoot of the skin condition psoriasis is alive and ready to kill in suburban America. Dubbed rhinopsoriasis (RHI-nossoh-RHYE-ah-sis), this disease's symptoms are just plain appalling.
The first stages of the condition seem friendly enough: itchy skin and a small, "harmless" rash. The rash sends strange messages to the victim's brain that tell the body to bite or flick at this rash, causing inflammation, leading to stage two.
In the second stage of rhinopsoriasis, the rash spreads and begins to turn scaly and flaky, gradually coating the body fully in silvery-grey raised patches.
Afraid yet? Too bad. Rhinopsoriasis' next victim may be you.
Before the final stages are explained, let's enjoy this look at what rhinopsoriasis may do to you.
TEST PATIENT BEFORE CONDITION
TEST PATIENT AFTER CONDITION
It's all very disturbing, really...
Ah, yes. The final conditions. The third and final stage of rhinopsoriasis is the worst. The patient completely morphs into a rhino before death, so it is recommended to have a few pre-slaughtered wildebeest on hand in case the patient in hungry. It makes everything easier if the wildebeest are de-boned.
There has only been one survivor of rhinopsoriasis, and the only reason she lived is because she had the PhotoShop-induced version of the disease. She is shown above, before and after PhotoSho-- I mean, rhinopsoriasis.
Never let your guard down, and always wash your hands, if you do not want to contract this awfully contagious disease. The tell-tale first sign is when your poop is blue and begins to resemble safari animals.
This has been L for Mayo Health Clinic, saying thank you, and may the Monster protect you from rhinopsoriasis.