(news-release BBC British-y music) Hallo, and welcome to BBC Holiday Channel. The entire of the UK wishes a rapid recovery for those caught in the aftermath of Thanksgiving. As we all probably know, tragedies are pooping popping up all across the area. First of all, traffic accidents are common knowledge by now. Most of them have been caused by the food-travel combination of those driving home from Thanksgiving dinner. Also, I hear that the post-Thanksgiving defecation rates are rising by the hundreds! It is tragic, we all understand, so send thoughts warm like apple pie towards those affected by the rampant defecation. Crimes! We can also pray for those who have been... ugh... can't even discuss it... (news-woman collapses on floor, paramedics enter and carry her away on stretcher) Paramedic: "RONALD! She fainted- again!" Ronald: "Ah, well. That's what happens in Britain when people try to talk about the Po.. the P... The Poo..." Paramedic: "Not him, too? Bloody 'ell! These wimps can't even say Poop.. Pah.. Pih.. monster....."