Howdy! You look mighty fine today. That beard really suits you. I know I am probably on your naughty list, but I might as well try. Have you lost weight lately? You know, you are my biggest hero. Ever. Even "bigger" than Paula Dean. Here are some of the things I want for Christmas, because coal didn't get me very far last year...
- My very own Snuggie
- Post-It notes
- Some laxatives (to distribute Joy to the World)
- A new fountain pen with diamonds encrusted in the handle (to spread the love of the P. Monster)
- NOT a toilet brush
- A ticket to My Little Ponies on Ice
- 1 (0ne) Make Your Own Tattoos set
- Two front teeth and last but not least...
Your dearest, most bestest, most poopiest, most bestest, most dearest, number one fan,
the poop monster"
I discovered this note lying on my kitchen counter a few days back... It is probably the most intricate spreading of the virus I have ever encountered... and It. Was no. Joke.